These Miles Aren't Gonna Run Themselves

I hear a lot of runners use this line, as a way to indicate they better get a move on their scheduled run. Like me, right now, for example. I should really drink this coffee and then get cracking on this 16 miler - these miles aren't going to run themselves. But here's the thing: why not? I say, this is a terrific opportunity for someone to invent something that does the running for you. Like a treadmill, but with less effort put in by the would-be runner.

I'm a little busy right now, digesting the slabs of beer shoulder I ate last night (more on that in the Weekly Wrap Up), so it would be really helpful if these miles could just run themselves, and leave me with approximately 2 hours and 20 minutes of "me" time. Doesn't that sound nice? With all the technological advancements we've made over the years, I'm honestly rather disappointed in you, science-minded inventors, for not addressing this sooner. You've come up with all kinds of wonderful and beneficial advancements for the runner: you've invented "food" that comes in gel form, packaged in foil envelopes we can take with us on the go. You've given us wrist-sized GPS units. It seems to me that the next logical step would be to invent miles that would run themselves, leaving us to sit on the couch eating our gel "food" and confirming our global position as stagnant. This seems like a straightforward objective, and frankly I don't see what the hold up is.

Anyway, I have to go. These miles aren't going to run themselves. See you for the Wrap Up later.