Happy Thanksgiving!

My dad referred to my Turkey Trot hat as being "a turkey erection," if that's any indication of what our dinner table conversation is like.

I'm thankful I'm not a Packers fan. Have a great holiday!

The Big Reveal: We'll Run For Beer Route

This weekend, being the first I was in town in God knows how long (woe is me, people invite me to their weddings and also I go on a lot of vacations…), I took advantage of an open calendar and did a number of productive things.  Some were necessary but not particularly exciting: I scoured the tub, toilet, and shower.  Some were not necessary but very exciting: I went to Stone Barns and participated in turkey herding.  Some struck a balance between both: I had a business meeting at 7am on Sunday morning that took place over the course of a 14 mile run.

14 miles is the farthest I’ve run since the Wineglass Marathon back on October 6^th.  14 miles at a 7:45 pace is not something I’ve done since… oh God.  I probably averaged a 7:45  for the first 14 miles of the Hamptons Marathon in September, but that was more like 7 miles at a 7:15 pace and 7 miles at a “someone put me out of my misery” pace.  The good news is that even pacing feels a hell of a lot better, and I was pleasantly surprised to discover I could both hold the pace and a conversation about work the entire time.  I was also pleasantly surprised to discover that snot rockets were acceptable during this business meeting.  No word yet on whether or not this practice is also allowed when business takes place within the confines of the office, but I’m leaning towards no.

A solid (and much-needed, from a confidence-boosting, I-don’t-wanna-be-starting-from-scratch-when-Boston-training-starts-next-month perspective) long run was just one of the necessary and exciting accomplishments of my weekend in New York.  I also plotted out the next installment of We’ll Run For Beer.

 

Click to enlarge and marvel at my MS Paint skillz.
That freehand part in the Park is legit, right?!

We'll be meeting at Columbus Circle at noon on Saturday, December 7th.  As you can see, we’ll be hitting up the Upper East Side this go around.  A bit about the course features:

Subway Inn: This is a horrifying dive of a place.  I once went here with a date in cocktail attire and I think the music quite literally stopped when we sat down at the bar.  I have every confidence that, even clad in spandex and wicking fabric, we won’t be underdressed

Session 73: If you’re a preppy suburban kid of a certain age who lived in a one bedroom converted to 3 bedroom immediately after college, Session 73 needs no explanation. If you’re not, I’m not going to tell you what Session 73 is like because I suspect you won’t go.  As I (barely) recall, I went here at about 2:30am once because I wanted to go dancing.  I may have embarked on this adventure alone. Please don’t make me dance by myself this time.

Trinity Pub: Compared to Session 73, Trinity Pub is downright refined.   It’s where preppy suburban kids go when they realize they’ve become adults.

ABV:  This little spot is the nicest of the bunch, which is somewhat shameful since we’ll be pretty drunk by this point.  It’s also technically in East Harlem, which is home to the Genovese crime family, so try not to get lost.

If you’ve never participated in We’ll Run For Beer, the basics are as follows:

• Wear clothes for being active outdoors in December.  Sneakers, sweats, spandex. 

• Bring cash and an ID.  Please don’t attend if you’re not 21.  Not because I don’t love you, but because I don’t want to be reminded that, unlike 20 year olds, I’m waaaay out of the acceptable age bracket for making the rounds of the Upper East Side.

• Be nice to each other.  I try to bring lots of different groups of people together for these, because selfishly it makes my life easier when all my friends come to me.  This means you’ll probably be meeting new people.  Don’t be a dick to them.  If you really don’t like someone, just email me after and we can talk shit about them over the privacy of Gmail.

• Be safe. Running is a hazardous endeavor on its own, and that’s compounded by alcohol.  Having tripped and skinned my palms during the second edition of this, I’m speaking from experience here.  Please be mindful of cars, Citibikes, pedestrians, preppy rapists, uneven sidewalks, drunk frat boys, Mafioso, and other natural and man-made obstacles you will encounter throughout the day.  Unlike a race director, I am not insured.  Also, I’m not rich, so suing me won’t be worth the hassle.

• Email me at willrunforbeerblog@gmail.com if you're interested in participating.

Thanks for your support of running and the Manhattan nightlife industry.  See you on December 7th!

The Best Run I Didn't Know I Had

Last weekend, I was in Vermont for a wedding. I went for a run around some subdivision in Essex Junction that was largely unremarkable. Or so I thought, until I came home and uploaded my Garmin data.




Completely unbeknownst to me at the time, I ran in a penis shape. This is my life's work.