How to Make it Work on the Road

I'm back from a crazy-ass week of very long work hours, followed by a four-day conference with daily 15-hour agendas.  In a most unfortunate coincidence, I also had quite a bit of running to do last week.  Here are some strategies I used to stick to training when traveling for business.  They are not rocket science:

- Plan ahead.  I knew there was no way I'd get 18-20 miles in while I was away, so I worked with my boss ahead of time (two weeks beforehand) to schedule a morning before I left to run long and come in to the office an hour late.  Pro tip here: be generous with how much time you'll need when making the ask.  While I was actually done running and showered in enough time to be punctual, the 20 block walk to my office took approximately 4 hours.  Nothing worse than having to rush when you can't walk comfortably.  Once I was at the conference, I compared my workout schedule to the conference agenda, and scheduled the longest and hardest workouts (8 miles with 6 @ GMP ughhhh) for mornings with the latest start.

- Wake up ass early.  So, just like not traveling for work, then...  I was at the hotel gym when it opened to ensure that I had as much time as possible to workout, shower, and get dressed before breakfast.  (This also decreased the likelihood that I would run into colleagues, since no one who sees me in a board room should also see me in my short shorts).  Depending on your situation, both the showering part and the breakfasting part can be cut down significantly, but 1) there were Peter Thomas Roth shower products at the Hilton, so my hair looked awesome and I wanted to blow dry it to a silky sheen every day, and 2) I am a person who actually likes meeting strangers at conferences, so breakfast was my jam.

- Hit the gym.  I'm all for running as a means of exploration, but when I have specific workouts and very limited time, I don't want to use any of that time plotting a new route.  Did you spend 2 hours run-exploring the host city at your last work trip?  Congrats - you're probably nonessential!  When time is short, I explore SportsCenter on the treadmill. 



Bonus: I actually did walk around and see DC one night as part of the agenda

- Have good snacks.  I am admittedly not the type who focuses too much on food consumption, save for the night before a long run or race.  In fact, it infuriates me when people talk about what "fuel" they had at their desk on a Tuesday.  People, we're all mediocre amateurs.  Your Hale & Hearty salad wasn't fuel.  It was a depressing midtown lunch.  Let's not take ourselves so seriously.  That said, work travel tends to mess with your feeding routine, and man can only eat so much conference center chicken before he turns into rubber himself (side note: not a dig at the Capital Hilton - their food was actually pretty solid.  Croissants, call me maybe).  Toss a couple granola bars or whatever you're fond of into your briefcase so that you can have something other than a la king sauce sloshing around in your gut when you get up ass early to work out.

- Save your legs.  I failed at this one, but it's good advice going forward.  Standing up at cocktail parties, particularly in heels, is murder on your legs.  I cannot tell you how fatigued mine were when I woke up Saturday morning.  Sit whenever you can.  Or, wear flats if you don't mind looking like an unprofessional schlub, I guess. 

You'll note there's nothing in here about doing dips on the edge of your hotel bed or turning planks into an ice breaker.  That's intentional.  I'm not looking to "sneak in" a "workout" when I'm traveling for work.  I'm looking to be super efficient with very limited time and get my marathon training crossed off ye olde to do list.  Those 15 minute breaks can be used for napping or bellying up to the hotel bar, thankyouverymuch.

Any other tips for being a badass marathoner while traveling for work? 

The Midweek Long Run

It is approximately 9am on Wednesday morning.  Typically, I'd be grabbing coffee and an egg sandwich on my way into the office (yep - I eat eggs every weekday.  Suck it, cholesterol!).  Currently, I am sitting on my couch, on a towel because of swamp ass, watching whatever comes on after Morning Joe (Chuck Todd, as it turns out).  This is because I'll be traveling for work for the remainder of the week, through Sunday, and won't have a spare three hours this weekend during a conference to get a long run done.  Being the diligent athlete that I am (note: I did not bother doing a long run last week...), I spoke with my boss and arranged to run long this morning, before work. Here is some miscellany from this run:

- I woke up at 4:45am to do this.  It was not a challenge, because my cat friend's favorite time to bite me into a state of waking is 4:45am.  Serendipity!

- I spent an hour drinking coffee, watching last's night Rachel Maddow (I don't work for MSNBC, despite already making two plugs...) and eating a chocolate peanut butter Pop Tart.  All you "eat real food" people are real dumb.  Pop Tarts are where its at.  I also spent approximately 20 minutes convincing myself to go running, and very nearly bailed on this.

- I continued this line of thinking for miles 1-4, and kept threatening to turn around because "I can do it later." No, you can't.

- Once I resigned myself to the fact that this was happening, miles 5-11 were quite delightful.  I ran one full loop of the Park, then headed to the Reservoir for two loops up there.  I seldom run up there, mostly because it's perfectly flat, which isn't the best for training, but it is quite pretty, and the dirt surface is forgiving.  There was also an awesome breeze and low humidity and generally speaking it was as pleasant as waking up at 4:45am to run 19 miles can be.

-From miles 11-13, I gave myself crippling work-related anxiety.  This has been a theme for the past 2 weeks.  It's fun.  (It's not fun.  Between the cholesterol from those eggs and the cortisol from stress, I imagine my blood work looks a lot like a 50 year old fat man's).

- At mile 13, I set off for one last 5 mile loop, and anxiety gave way to incredible muscle fatigue.  Despite a pasta feast and a beer (Ommegang Hennepin) last night, the aforementioned (and delicious) Pop Tart, and a Gu at mile 7, I was tanking.  I hung in for another 2 miles, and had another Gu at mile 15.  I realize it barely had time to start working by the time I was finished running, but mostly it gave me something to think about.

- I carried cash with me and picked up my laundry immediately upon finishing my run.  It was exceedingly difficult to keep from clutching a 14lb bag of laundry against my soaking wet chest.  Also soaking wet was the $20 bill I handed over to pay for my laundry.  Sorry for partying?

- It's a truly terrible feeling to come home from a long run and realize you cannot reward yourself with a beer.  It's not the 9am part that's stopping me, of course; it's the office that's waiting for my delayed arrival.

- The whole point of doing this today was that I have work obligations all weekend.  These obligations include a gala dinner on Friday night.  Which I'll now attend with sports bra chafe lines all over my chest as a result of this morning's run.  I can't win.

The good news is my long run is done and my metatarsals appear to be in tact.  The bad news is that now my colleagues get to learn first hand what "runger" is like.  Good luck to them.

(As mentioned, I'm traveling for the rest of the week.  I still have 3 workouts to get done, including a GMP run, so I'll be in the Hilton fitness center whenever I can be.  I'll send word when I can.  I know you'll be waiting on the edge of your seat...)

Bored to Death

Sunday afternoon, I spent some time at Sports Authority, procuring some necessary supplies for Thursday's Dizzy Bat race.  While I was there, I also picked up a couple of additional pairs of short shorts, since 1) I love short shorts, 2) I spend an inordinate amount of money on laundry, and 3) It's rather hot out.

Indeed:

Source

I didn't see whether or not Sports Authority sold parasols, but I better go back and check.

 

Run early, or hit the gym for some air conditioned fitness (added bonus: they have foam rollers there, and that's about the only time I'll ever actually use one).  I did this very thing last evening, because 1) I was working at 6:30am when I'd ordinarily be running, 2) 14 hour work days make me want to strangle people, and running tends to prevent that, and 3) I wanted an opportunity to test out my new short shorts.

Good news: they work.

Bad news: almost nothing else about me did.

I only had 5 easy miles on tap for yesterday, but it might as well have been the Connemara Ultramarathon.  Funny how that happens: last week I did my Goal Marathon Pace run on the treadmill and felt like I could have done a whole marathon at a 7:19 pace on that thing.  Last night, I counted down the seconds until I was through 5 8:20s.  It was hot in there, despite the air conditioning.  I forgot water.  My ears were too sweaty to keep my headphones in.  The guy next to me was running too loudly.  My neck hurt from looking down at the display.  It's a goddamn miracle I'm allowed out in public, frankly, because I find almost everything intolerable.

Here's hoping it was a fluke, because I anticipate being on the treadmill a lot more this week.  It's entirely possible I'll be bored to death, but I bet it's less painful and messy than being cooked to death outside.

Stay hydrated, check on pets and olds, and for Christs' sake, Cate French, wear sunscreen.   

Sunday Wrap Up: Dumb Ways to Die

Abbe shared this video with me some time ago, and I love it quite a bit:



I also could make one myself, detailing the myriad ways running can kill you, based on the week I've had.

First there was Friday's face off with an SUV.  That brush with death was of the urgent and adrenaline-filled variety, the kind that, when it passed and I realized I didn't suffer irreversible bodily harm, left my arms and legs super weak and rage-tears building in my eyes.

Today, though, I confronted a very different kind of death.  Not the kind that cultivates the fight-or-flight response, but the "I think maybe I'll just lie down here on this sidewalk and close my eyes for a little while."

Good one, Bear

It's so hot.  So, so hot.  So when I ran out of water at mile 13 today, with the heat index approaching 100, I decided I'd rather not die than "just rest my eyes here in the middle of First Avenue for a minute" before running the last mile home.  If running is going to kill me, it better be while I'm doing something more impressive than a 14 mile run.

Number of Miles Run This Week: 36.  If running doesn't kill me, work might.  This was one of those weeks where I was grateful to have to do things like 4 miles at GMP and 8 miles of hills on the docket, because I channeled any professionally-induced frustration into murdering my workouts.  It's safer for everyone involved that I have this outlet.

Number of Beers Consumed This Week:  12.  Again, because of work, I sure am glad for alcohol this week.  There are actually a number of cases of Redd's Apple Ale in my office left over from an event, and I have more than once considered closing the door and tearing into them.

Types of Beers Consumed This Week: Sapporo, Goose Island 312, Victory Headwaters Pale Ale, Founders' Nitro Pale Ale, Dugges' Hiphiphooray, and Bud Light.  No Redd's Apple Ale.  But tomorrow is another work week...

If you haven't heard (and you should have, because it was featured in Time Out New York and Blood, Sweat, and Cheers), this Thursday is the Second Annual Dizzy Bat Race.  Come out to the Park and take a few spins around the bat and bases.  Prizes include a gift certificate to Stub Hub, which can be used to see a legitimate baseball game, or anything else your heart desires.  Register at the New York Rogue Runners online.  Risk of death minimal, despite the streak I'm apparently on...



 

In Which I Came a Half Inch From Being Killed

Edited: this had a lot of f-bombs in it, and one day I'll probably be looking for a job. Incidentally (though you wouldn't know it from this "portfolio"), much of what I do professionally is write, so probably opening a piece with "Jesus F-ing Christ" isn't in my best interest. Forgive me; near death experiences get me riled up.

Jesus [redacted] Christ, New York. I do not have time for your shit. I have finally gotten myself in some semblance of athletic shape after that whole stress fracture debacle (your fault, West Side Highway). I do not need to come within half an inch of being taken out by an SUV (in the crosswalk! With the walk sign illuminated!) on what should have been an easy run. While certain death may have been avoided, the position into which I contorted my lower half was not exactly kind on the IT band. You, of all cities, should know that I have no patience for being inconvenienced. And you, of all cities, can't blame me that I did not tolerate this attack against me quietly. I believe my exact words were "Holy [redacted] [redacted]. Are you [redacted] kidding me?! (Gestures forcefully towards walk sign) DUDE!"

I know, I know: you recognize tenacity, New York. You reward confidence. But I'm quite confident in the match up between Claire and Ford Explorer, no amount of confidence, nor A-Rod levels of PEDs (since I know you turn a blind eye to those, New York), are going to level that playing field. Besides, having to put my palms on the hood of a car was pretty disgusting.

Goddamn it, New York. Between the weather and the [redacted] maniacs, you're practically begging me to take it to the treadmill.

(PSA: people are [redacted] nuts. Even when you have the right of way. Even in daylight. Even when there is a traffic cop in plain view. And even a turning car is going fast enough to fuck up your shit. Pay attention. And for Christ's sake, don't wear headphones. I imagine it's far less satisfying when you can't hear yourself absolutely rip someone a new asshole.)

Sunday Wrap Up: In Which 29 is the New 21

I'm back from Chicago and staving off Sunday depression, so let's recap my journey, shall we?

When I left New York on Wednesday, the weather looked like this:



I'm not really sure how the cab driver could see through that rain, but I made it to LaGuardia unscathed. Unfortunately my flight was delayed 17 days (approximately). Worse, everyone else's flight was also delayed, and the airport bar was already at capacity when I arrived. I passed the time sending tweets about how I hate people, and eventually made it to Chicago. I took a cab from Midway directly to a bar. All was right with the world.

I woke up on the Fourth and kicked off celebrations with a run, which looked like this:



It did not suck. I spent the rest of the day drinking every Midwestern beer I could get my hands on. You know what beer comes from the Midwest? Bud Light.

On Friday I had to work, which wasn't awesome, but eventually we made it to the Sheffield Baseball Club, which overlooks Wrigley and which looks like this:



Chicago is a place known for its hot dogs. Why I don't live there is beyond me. Anyway, in addition to eating hot dogs and watching the Cubs lose, I also drank more beers, as seen here:



I drank all those.

Now I'm back in New York, which feels like this:



Rude. I did manage a 10+ mile run to Brooklyn today, which was only horrible for the last 2ish miles, when I ran uphill in direct sunlight. Otherwise, it wasn't awful despite the heat, though I did inadvertently make a woman think I was a rapist murderer. I had been behind her the entire length of the Brooklyn Bridge, and was quite impressed by how solidly she tackled the expanse, especially in the heat and sun. When I caught up to her on the Brooklyn side, I meant to compliment her on her grit. Unfortunately I decided to extend this compliment by beginning with "I've been chasing you for a very long time," which was extremely creepy of me. I blame the heat.

Number of Miles Run This Week: 28. That includes a hill workout, a tempo run, and 10 miles in 90+ degree weather. I am psyched with my effort this week.

Number of Beers Consumed This Week: Jesus, I'm terrified to know the answer. Is it humanly possible to day drink without doing so to excess? No, it is most assuredly not. Related, don't go to Chicago unless you are well versed in frat culture. Which I am, bro. As evidenced here:



Sun's out, guns out, amirite?

Types of Beers Consumed Last Week: Well, there were plenty of Bud Lights. Plenty. Also, Oberon, Green Line Pale Ale, 312, Daisy Cutter, Sunday Session Hopped Up Ale, Femme Fatale Brett, Guinness, and Brooklyn Lager.

Coming up: I'm in town for 13 straight days! It'll take at least 3 to thoroughly dry out from my last trip...

A Shocking Revelation

Oysters are not great fuel for spinning.

Happy early Independence Day.  I'm going to spend a few hours in the office, a few hours in the airport bar, and three solid days preying upon non-creepily befriending corn-fed Midwestern boys while decked out in red, white, and blue, and sunscreen.  See you next week!

Tuesday Wrap Up: Go Time

As I declared as soon as my right foot was freed from the boot, June was to be spent easing back into running.  Well, June is done, and I'm declaring it a success.  In fact, it was my highest mileage month for all of 2013.  At 69 miles...

To put this into some context, in March of 2012 - a month before a marathon - I ran 237 miles.  In March of 2013 - a month before my first 39.3 mile race - I ran 67 miles.  If ever you needed proof that I was burned out, injured, and depressed, I think that's it.

Nevertheless, we've reached July, and my paltry gradual build up in mileage has resulted not only in 10 functioning metatarsals, but also a certain amount of excitement before I leave for each run, despite the fact that it's now so humid I break a sweat just putting on a sports bra, in my air conditioned apartment.  I may not be breaking any distance records for the time being, but I'm doing something right.

Which brings us to July.  This week - week 4, technically - is a "step back" week in my training plan, which seems as good a time as any to jump back into training.  But first, let's review last week:

Number of Miles Run Last Week: 25.  It's a weird feeling to be both embarrassed and also proud of that number.

Number of Beers Consumed Last Week: 15.  I'm not embarrassed by that number.

Types of Beers Consumed Last Week:  Brooklyn Lager, Lagunitas IPA, Bud Light, Humala IPA, Victory Summer Love, Founders' All Day IPA, Troegs Sunshine Pils.

Okay, July.  It's go time.

(I'm in Chicago Thursday - Saturday.  Anyone want to run with me?  Shoot me an email: willrunforbeerblog@gmail.com)