Product Review: Blowfish for Hangovers

Klout recently sent me a couple envelopes of Blowfish to try. For those who don't know, Klout is a service that, um, does something with your contributions to social media and, um sends you things? I don't exactly know what it is or what the purpose is, but from what I gather, if you tweet enough asinine things, Klout determines you to be an "influencer" and sends you products it deems topical to your life. Thus far, I've received cat food, some kind of knock off Skinny Girl cosmo mix, and Blowfish, which is marketed as a hangover cure. This is a stark and depressing assessment of my life and my sphere of influence. On the plus side, the internet indicates that the "single cat ladies who drink too much" cohort is a large one...

Having had 2 margaritas followed by several more than 2 IPAs last night, I woke up this morning feeling... not my best. I stumbled into the bathroom and gulped down 2 Advil when I woke up, after which I spied the envelopes of Blowfish in my bathroom. Despite very fine print and very compromised fine motor skills, I was able to both hold the packet up to my face and read the ingredients, which include aspirin and caffeine. Since my recent blood work indicated elevated liver enzymes (allegedly just a two-marathon-in-two-weeks response, but better safe than sorry...), I decided this morning wasn't the day to put my liver through the wringer by taking aspirin on top of Advil, so instead I put pants on, and took myself across the street to get a cup of coffee and an egg and cheese sandwich.

After a solid 3 and a half hours of couch time/Advil digestion time and no real improvement to my condition, I decided to up the ante with Blowfish. The instructions (again, the print is REALLY small, so it's entirely possible this isn't accurate) suggest you drop 2 tablets into 16 oz. of water and drink as soon as the fizzing stops.





Note that the "pants" I put on were of the "sweat" variety. Single cat lady status: confirmed. Also, I dare you to read that, especially through eyes glued shut with last night's mascara in a dark bathroom.

Having recently been taking Airborne on account of the post-race plague, I was fully prepared to drink a murky, fizzy, slurry and get on with my life. Much to my surprise, once the Blowfish dissolved, it looked more like Sprite. I braced myself as I brought it to my lips (that's what she said) and took down about half a glass in one go. It wasn't strictly medicinal in taste, but Sprite it was not (worth noting: OMG how good is soda when you're hungover?).





Hangover supplies: Blowfish, coffee, and iPad. Not pictured: egg sandwich (already consumed).

I don't know if the Blowfish just brought me up to a pain relief and caffeine threshold not previously reached through Advil and coffee, but holy hell this stuff really worked! No kidding, I went from useless lump watching Face the Nation (proof that I'm old: hungover from like 6 drinks over the course of 5 hours, and watching political talk shows...) to full on vacuuming, furniture rearranging, toilet bowl cleaning productive human being. (Claire, are you sure you want to broadcast to the internet your standards for a successful Sunday? LOOK AT YOUR CHOICES!). While I think a more controlled experiment must be conducted to rule out the possibility egg sandwiches work THAT well at alleviating hangovers (and let's be honest; there's a reason they're the standard bearer for weekend breakfasts), I think this stuff is definitely worth your attention. Klout sent it to me for free, but I've spent my own money on WAY less useful things (for example: my cat friend, Dorito), so this is a worthy investment, and it's only a couple bucks. I've definitely seen it in the check out aisle at Duane Reade, so I'd suggest picking some up on your next trip and giving it a go.

Any hangover remedies you swear by? You'd think at this point I'd be an expert, but beyond the usuals described above, and the diner beverage trifecta (coffee, Coke, water), I don't have any magic tricks. Once last winter I was so hungover after a Christmas party, I made my mom hold cold compresses over my eyes. She was not impressed. I was 28, for the record.

P.S. It's worth noting that, despite the fact that only about 3 people read this blog, and one is my mom from two different computers, people sometimes offer to send me free shit to review. I almost never take them up on it, because I have absolutely no interest in running the Pretty Princess 5k on a comped entry and reviewing it. But this one actually seemed topical, because, duh. Don't get scared that I'm going to start accepting free shit all the time and writing about it. Unless you're interested in sending me free egg sandwiches. In which case, try to schedule delivery for Saturday and Sunday mornings, extra credit if they'll arrive immediately after a wedding...

P.P.S. Always drink in moderation. And do as I say, not as I do.