Imagine, if you will, the scene:
Entrepreneurial New York deli owner sees, morning after morning, harried commuters with their hands full of briefcases and newspapers and whatever else was in the hands of people before iPads. "These people need coffee, but their hands are full. How can I solve this problem? I KNOW! I'll deliver scalding, overfull cups of coffee to the hands of people dressed in their business finest via PAPER BAGS!"
Entrepreneurial New York deli owner, F*%k That. Your decision to put a cup of hot liquid into a bag made of a material noted for deteriorating in liquid, thereby setting the precedent for New York breakfast purveyors everywhere, has made my life and the world I live in a worse place. Is this just a New York thing? If so, and you're considering moving to New York, don't. You'll be coming to a place where your $1650 apartment whose walls you can touch with your two arms extended will be filled with clothes covered in coffee stains, all of which have to be dry cleaned because OF COURSE you were wearing a silk shirt/white coat/suede loafers/everything non machine washable on your way to work in the pouring rain, juggling your bag and umbrella while responding to an urgent email from your CEO who wants to know why you screwed up that huge project and you thought maybe, just maybe, today would be the day the paper bag would somehow not result in spilled coffee everywhere. Hypothetically speaking, of course. That's not an exact description of my life, at all.
|This was yesterday. It was even browner when it dried.|